One Earthy Mama: I literally peed my pants.

I can't remember the last time I laughed this hard. You MUST read this. Warning: It might not be completely appropriate, but there is no language or anything. Just complete and under hilariousness.

http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2008/05/this-made-me-laugh-til-i-cried.html

Zachary'isms

While looking at my blog pictures today, Zach comes accross the pictures of Izzy and her sparklers. I had taken several shots of her and put them together to show her warming up as she used them. He says, "Hey mom! Come look at all these Izzy's!" I comment that I see them. He then says, "Are they all ours?" I wasn't sure what he meant, so I said, "Um, yeah." Then he asks, "Where do we keep them all? All those extra Izzy's?" I just about died laughing! I had to explain that it was the same Izzy, just a bunch of pictures put together. I am not sure he believed me! Apparently I am storing extra ones somewhere. LOL!
Our good friend Dan told Zach one afternoon that if Zach wanted to marry his daughter, he needed to be nice to girls. For a few weeks now, everytime Dan sees him, he asks if he is being nice to girls. Today Dan was over at our house. He called Zach's name so he could ask him a question. Zach turned around and said, "I am being nice to girls!" We got a great laugh. Then Dan says, "And you always say, 'yes maam' to your mom." Zach yells, "YES MAAM" and says, "There." Sheesh!
I was sitting one afternoon on the couch and Zach came up to talk to Baby "Benjan". He lifted up my shirt and was talking to my belly. Then he says," I can see your lightning, baby Benjan!" I was really confused as to what he was talking about. Then I realized the he was referring to my stretch marks! Apparently they look like lightning. Thanks buddy!
Well, this one is actually really sweet. Zach was eating a bag of fishy crackers and Izzy came up to him and stuck her hand in his bag. She grabbed out a huge handful and started eating. He promptly exclaims, "Ahhh, mom... she wanted me to share!" What a great way to look at things!
On our way to church, someone farts in the car and says nothing. I turn around and ask Zach if he farted. He says, "I didn't fart mom. My butt did." Laughing, I explain to him that he needs to say excuse me when he does that he says, "Excuse my butt, mom." He now says the same thing when he burps! At least it is accurate, right! LOL!
Two for the price of one! After church today, I asked Zach's sunbeam teacher how he did in class. She said that he did great except when she asked him to put away his toys and he didn't listen. He hit and kicked her. Upon hearing this, I went and got him and took him to her. i explained to him that it wasn't ok to hit and kick and that he needed to say he was sorry. Now his teacher has a co-teacher, her husband. So upon hearing what I had to say, he says, "MOM! I didn't hit and kick her. I just kicked the guy!" Then he looks up and notices that his teacher is standing next to an older gentleman and asks her, "Is that your grandpa?" We couldn't contain our laughter. FWIW, he did apologize!
He was sitting on Dunkan's lap when he noticed that Dunkan had a blister on his hand. He leans over and says, "I'm sorry about your booboo Baba. Did you get that when you were riding your bike and and a police man came on his bike and pushed you off?" Dunkan looked at him like he was crazy and Zach says, "Well... did he?" Totally serious!
While telling everyone that I was going to have a baby, he says, "Yeah my baby is going to be brother. He is going to have a penis! Yeah!" What a goof.
As I am getting ready to leave, Zach says to me, "Mom, you should put on some make up before you go. People would like you more." Yeah, you just lost the best son award! LOL!
He walks up to me at says, "Mom, Jesus asked me to be a missionary and I said no." I, ofcourse ask him why he would say no to Jesus. He replies, "Because I am going to be batman instead." And then walks away.
While sitting in the car while we were pumping gas, Zachary looks at the car in front of us. There is a woman pumping gas who has very short hair. He watches her and when she gets in her car, says very loudly, "That mom has a man head!" I died.
He walks into his bedroom and stops suddenly, looking at the stuffed animals on his shelf. He then looks sad and exclaims, "Why do all my animals HATE me?" Then walks away. Huh?
After watching birth videos on youtube with mom, Zach asks, "Why are all those babies trying to break out like that?"
After telling him that we were going to have another baby, Zach says, "Why the heck do we need another baby? We already have one!"
After I had been working around the house one afternoon, Zach came up to hug me. He felt my sweaty shirt and pulled back with a disgusted look. Then he says" Oh mom! You peed in your shirt!"

One Earthy Mama

Friday, January 9, 2009

I literally peed my pants.

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